Raindrops of Thinking

 — by Blue [ TRIGGER WARNING ] if you repeatedly say the same word over and over and over again, you'll soon end up in a situation where you'd see that word as nothing but nonsense. it has now turned into nothing more than a lump of letters grouped together to form this thing that you used to mean what you had in your head, until than meaning disappeared. after that, you start to question its existence. you start to doubt its credibility. you start to doubt whether its even real.  people say those quotes every time.  "if you say the same thing again and again, after a few tried it'll lose its meaning."  ... like sorry. apologies are one of the things almost always attached to this saying making it deeper than the simple mind games you put yourself in to because you decided you wanted to be silly and so you said the word "garage" like a hundred times... maybe more.  thank you sounds a nice example as well. if you say thank you a couple of times, you'd...

  — by Blue [ trigger warning: mentions of suicide ] I could still recall all the moments where my heart felt like it would explode. Those were the moments that most people would have expected me to scream and speak my mind, but I did the opposite. I silenced myself while my brain continued to shout and shout with a voice that never got tired. It was only my heart that grew weary, aging before the years took its toll. I am neither young nor old. The years that I have behind me are too green for anyone to call me old. Yet my world is too gray, too morbid to be compared with ambitious youngsters living their youth. My phone rang an alarm that sounded more like a warning than a simple notification. I used to think of this sound to be the same as my favorite music I would always request on the radio. But before I knew it, it became more like the sound used in horror movies. The ones that scare you into a jump scare. I wonder when everything changed to be that way.  “Hello,” I ...

   — by Blue  [ trigger warning: talks about suicide, manipulation]   An adventure, it is not for everyone. Others seek it. Some would rather it not be there. It is purely a waste of time. No matter how fairy tales gloss their stories over, a journey requires a lot of things and it poses a lot of danger. All she could see was nothing but death.  But once upon a time, when the woman was but a little girl, she longed for an adventure within her pages. When all was blank and the fates were still uncertain, she had dared to wish for a driven tale to fill the paper of her past with sparkling words that would make other kids envy her. With just the right journey and a catching title page, she was sure the lot of them would want to read what she would have to offer. They would put her book on their shelves, with her name written in bold letters on the cover.  It was then that she coincidentally met a friend.  "How did that even happen?" she would ask herself ...

  — by Blue           The sound of the keyboard is music to my ears. The ink of the pen left on my notebooks are like paintings for me. But no matter how much I enjoy them, they are only half of what they were intended. What is the use of a message when it is nothing but unsent mail? Scrapped letters are meant for the bin.           Yet I could never throw them away. Even if they could never reach the height of their destiny, I could never resent them. They hold a part of me that I have carefully crafted out of the half truths of my soul.  ***          If someone where to write a letter for every word that I have chosen not to speak of, I would have a mountain of letters with not enough postmen to deliver them. If someone were to honestly filter out the truth from the lies, the reality from deception, I wouldn't have been left with just a smiling face and empty eyes. I would instead be granted...

  by Blue like always i don't know where to start.  should i say my thanks?  should i offer my apologies?  should i talk about how dear they were to me? or should i go straight to the fact that they've always been heavy to be with and carry? i once thought to blame them.  maybe dump them all my faults. yet as it was, in the end, it'll be all for naught.  they've been bittersweet to me.  they've been dear at some point.  perhaps i'll cry. perhaps I won't.  in the end, my only words are,  " goodbye to you,  you which were my once my world." "here lies my emotions." _______ Thank you for reading ^^ art by bluee

  -- by Blue               Where right is left and left is right, which should one choose?                I knew of a saying in the human world. It asked my questions only a little differently. "Where should one go? To the right where nothing is left? Or to the left where nothing is right?" Quite a witty thing to ask I would say,                But my problems were far more direct. It had a lot more to do with what was on the other side than what I already had in my past. That other world, it's tempting.               "Why don't you step out? Why don't you run away with me? I'll show you more beautiful things and places than these. These are just common stuff. I bet you'd flip if you saw the rest of the world! I haven't been to some of them, but we could go together!" that child said.       ...

  -- by Blue Most fairytales start with a once upon a time. Most of them end with a happily ever after. To put things bluntly, something starts in the middle of what might be history, in a definite time and place, and it would end as stories do.  But in a place that no one else has ever seen, a place so dark you might end up stumbling and hurting your knees out of practically nothing, time doesn't work as it usually does. The setting itself is quite strange enough that you might think you are here but you're there over yonder. Nothing is what it seems.  We are not talking about Wonderland here. Alice might get mad if we steal the liberty and share space with her magical world filled with mad creatures. Besides, no one is mad in this place of ours. No one is, but perhaps someone will be. So, instead of a once upon a time, let us start this tale with an "every once in a while".                Every once in a while in an unknown b...