Raindrops of Thinking

  — by Blue [ trigger warning: mentions of suicide ] I could still recall all the moments where my heart felt like it would explode. Those were the moments that most people would have expected me to scream and speak my mind, but I did the opposite. I silenced myself while my brain continued to shout and shout with a voice that never got tired. It was only my heart that grew weary, aging before the years took its toll. I am neither young nor old. The years that I have behind me are too green for anyone to call me old. Yet my world is too gray, too morbid to be compared with ambitious youngsters living their youth. My phone rang an alarm that sounded more like a warning than a simple notification. I used to think of this sound to be the same as my favorite music I would always request on the radio. But before I knew it, it became more like the sound used in horror movies. The ones that scare you into a jump scare. I wonder when everything changed to be that way.  “Hello,” I said. My