yellow



 


-- by Blue


[ trigger warning ]




yellow.


i feel the warmth of yellow with the sight of it. the brightness overpowers my eyes leaving me almost blind. the sun glares at me, whether that be in a painting or if I try to look it up on the sky. i am blinded by the intensity of yellow. 


i see the meanings of yellow in signages encouraging happiness. the smiling emoji beams at me with its yellow skin. it goes beyond the simple glare as it bears stars on each eye. excitement and joy, these very emotions plastered on its imaginary irises. 


i ought to give a smile in return, i told myself. i ought to reflect the hue of happiness in the faces of strangers, of friends and other people. i ought to, i told myself again. it is to be expected.


but yellow...


perhaps for me was different. it does not only mean the positive things on the advertisements that entice the human eye. it does not only mean the warmth and light of sunshine. 


for yellow...


yellow also means sickness... and perhaps i am sick. i notice the hue on my skin like a filter over my eyes. all i see is illness in a body that is flawed. something that will not be perfect, or even close. i can see that it is broken, and yes again because i am sick. i am beyond repair. 


and yellow...


means toxic waste. deadly. a poison not meant to be consumed. 


do not drink my words for it is full of fallacies. do not settle with my warmth for that is a trap. that warmth might kill the healthy cells that inhabit you, dying every second that i stay in your arms. 

  

  

 


⺿🌻⺿

* * *


yellow is a warning. you are being warned. 

i do not have the yellow of sunshines. 

i have the yellow of death. 










_______ thank you for reading 

art by yours truly

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