EMPTY SHELL

 

— by Blue

I met a machine once. It had an iron plated body and its brain was connected with wires. Its body was starting to rust, the power inside barely flickering the light in its eyes. 

I asked this machine, "What is your name?" 

"I don't remember. I had a name once, but I chose to forget," it said. 

I asked, "Why?" 

"Young one, I chose to forget that as well. Everything, perhaps, started with the fact that I have thrown away my past to create this synthetic body in place of a once rotting flesh that could die at any moment in time." 

The machine told me a story then, a hypothesis that was formed from years of missing memories. A highly likely story that explains the origins of the wires that made its robotic brain going and the empty ribcage that housed not a heart but a pulsing something that pumps electricity—steady and static, not erratic. 

Once, perhaps, there was a human with a soul. It wanted a lot of things. It wished a lot of wishes. To the stars, to the wells, to the magic fountains and to the gods of who knows where. 

This human swelled, filled with emotions of every color and size. They felt happiness and craved the sweetness of it. They were addicted, in a way. But truly, what's wrong with wanting to be happy? What's wrong with needing that occasional laugh and tears of joy? Not tears of pain and hurt, which were often the case for this human. 

They were always aching somewhere, everywhere, especially in their heart. However, with their wishes by their side, they had something to hold on to. Hope. Someday, everything will be alright. 

But that day never came. Not for this human. 

They yearned for a companion, and so they searched. They found but they themselves were never discovered. They were always the hunter, never the treasure. 

When they figured that was unfair, they waited. A treasure is bound to be found. But they weren't. Years past yet still they were alone. 

Maybe that was their destiny... To be a half in a world that was whole. 

But again, hope was still there. Hope brought them something one day, someone—a promise of something beautiful and new. Yet, that too ended. Their fault this time. That pained them more, being the villain that they did not picture themselves to be. 

So with their last wish, they called to the genius, a human just like them. 

They said, "Help, doctor help! Ease my pain away. Erase! Take away my emotions and set me free!" 

"But [redacted] we cannot! Your wishes, without your emotions they will not come true! You cannot receive love if you do not feel it! You will not feel happiness if that is something you are not capable of! You will not find someone if you are not willing to feel for them!" 

"Oh but doctor, I don't care! Don't you see? Without my emotions these things will not matter! Yes, I will not be happy, but I also will not be sad. I may not find anyone ever again, but it doesn't matter when in my heart I would not care. Please, I beg of you! Save me from myself!"

The doctor had no choice. The human was turned into a machine. Now I find that person here, alone and indeed empty. 

I asked the machine, "Are you happy now? Or do you regret it." 

"I do not comprehend," it answered. 

"That's sad," I said. 

"I do not comprehend," it repeated. 

"I will cry for you, nameless machine. I'll shed the tears that you can't. I wish I could've been your companion when you needed it, but alas I am too late. I also doubt that I would suffice, and I hate to stay with you just because of pity. Strong. I wish both of us were strong. You before, and me now."

 

 

 

______ thank you so much for reading ^^

sketch featured made by yours truly.