LIKE AIR

 

— by Blue


I couldn't understand how, but I knew she was there. She was always at her spot, looking around at the faces of the people I was sure she knew. 


But that girl never said a thing. She never tried to move. No standing or moving about to fix her business. There was a big problem to solve, a rather jarring misunderstanding that needed mending. Yet she ignored all of that and only stared at the things that I guess are already left behind. 


Can't say that I blame her. It's not really her fault. 


It's more like I pitied her. That, and I'm not sure what else to do. 


I once asked my best friend who the person in the picture placed by his bedside was. It has always been there since I visited his apartment for the first time after a few years. We've been busy, me with college and him with his budding career. He doesn't know a thing about what happened in my life within that time frame. Likewise, I had no idea about his. So I asked wanting to fill that gap. 


"That's Hazel," he said. Then there was silence. 


Who was Hazel? I wanted to ask but that silence got to me. My best friend was never silent. But he was for Hazel. 


But I kind of already knew who the girl in the picture was. Her distinct emerald eyes couldn't be mistaken for someone else's. When I saw her I just knew who she was and why she was there. There was no need to ask. I just couldn't help myself. 


Did I need proof that I didn't have a chance? I've always wondered if that was it. After all, I wasn't stupid. I wasn't blind either. I was stubborn though, so that's that. 


Hazel was a nice girl. I could tell. She wore that smile like it was one of the best gifts she could give you and she knew it. She wouldn't be wrong about that too. She would be right and I would be left with the shame that I couldn't be like her. She was so right that even just a picture of her smiling would be enough to brighten up the room. 


My best friend's face lits up every time he notices that the picture is still there inside the frame where it should be. Inside his haven like it should. To be exact, it was what made his room a haven in the first place. 


I would have told him that the picture was just a secondary contributor. I could, but I didn't. I was too selfish to do that. Also, I didn't want to sound weird. 


When I first saw Hazel, she was glowing. I meant that literally. 


She was flickering and sparkling from head to toe, like a Christmas tree covered in fairy lights and topped with an angel's glittering halo. She was so brilliant that I had to look away. At that instant, I understood. I stood no chance at all. 


She wore a white almost translucent nightgown. It flowed like the wind. Like water amid dry ground. It looked precious. Exactly like her. Exactly like how she means to him. 


I could see how she looks at him too, even if he doesn't look back. She smiles, but it didn't reach her eyes. Her green eyes were sparkling but it wasn't because of joy. It was because of tears. 


And I pitied her. I pitied this girl named Hazel even though I didn't exactly know who she was and what she was like. I just saw and looked at her right there at her spot on his bed, just beside that picture frame that I could never have the courage to touch. 


I do pity Hazel, but it wasn't enough to change things. 


I wanted what she had. What she wanted back. I begged her silently to just give it to me, shedding invisible tears of anguish that I couldn't dare to let out in her territory. 


I asked sweet Hazel to just give him to me. But I knew and she knew that it didn't work that way. 


He just didn't consider giving himself to me. 



_______ Thank you for reading ^^


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